Thursday, January 06, 2005

supposed to be a snow day

I can hear the snow beading against my window. somehow i got called into work today and now, here i am. i brought my toque today so i'm prepared to shovel all that crap off my car later. i'm still sick. what am i doing here? i can't concentrate. my brain is mush. i want to say i need a nap, but i'm not really sleepy... i just want to go home.

yesterday, i curled up on my couch and watched "love actually" again. i had forgotten how much i really love that movie. i actually got it a while ago but hadn't opened it b/c i didn't want s&s to see the simulated porn scenes. i broke down yesterday in my weakened state and watched it with the not so little one telling her to close her eyes during those scenes. unfortunately i was too into the movie and most of the time she yelled "eeew" and turned her head before i said anything. LOL

i must've sounded very sick when mom called yesterday. she tried to convince me over and over again to take some cough syrup that her doctor perscribed for her and wouldn't let me go back to sleep until i agreed to take it. i reluctantly said yes and she actually stopped by my house to bring it over and to check up on me. i won't take the "koffex". i agreed to take the bottle in case i needed it - but i won't. i've got all kinds of other drugs to make me stop coughing. did i say how much i hate being sick. i love taking the time off work but i hate feeling too ill and wasting a day sleeping. i hate sleeping so much that you can no longer sleep and then sitting in a daze not having the strength to do more and thinking about what makes my world go round or what makes my world stop going around...

so.. here are some sleep and food deprived, drug induced random thoughts from yesterday that i still remember today...

s&s and i made new years resolutions. we decided that we each had to make 3 - one that affected ourselves, one that affected the rest of the family and the third one is a home improvement sort of resoltution. we didn't get them down on paper yet. we started discussing and then got sidetracked. perhaps it wasn't so important afterall. it seemed like a good idea at the time. maybe i should take another stab at it tonight.

i really dislike dishonesty - i mean real lies. why do people find such a need to do so? we all tell little white lies to get on the way more quickly but sometimes lying is just dumb. are you honest with your friends, the ones that really mean something to you? i'd like to think that i am. sometimes it's just not worth it to compromise the trust in someone that cares about you.

"When people show you who they are, believe them the first time." - Maya Angelou. i said this a few weeks ago in this blog. i have thought about this phrase often lately. really hard to do when you hope in the goodness of people. when you believe in the little spark you see in them that shows you they are different. in the end though, i think that the ones that can take the spark and create something useful from it, are far and few between. i just have to remember that part.

i spent a large portion of yesterday waiting. waiting 6 hours to take more tylenol, waiting for this or that show to start, waiting to pick up s&s, waiting for mom to come by... what a really strange thing. wow, do we ever spend a lot of time waiting for things... i actually have a lot more thoughts on this but i'll save it for another day.

i went to June's place to pick up some yarn today to finish the scarf. It's almost done. I should get it done by the weekend so if you see me sporting around a hand knitted scarf, please tell me how lovely it is.

buttercup :)

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